“I have so much control right now, but this reality is not realistic. My life is only kept in check by my fears of everything falling apart. “I am not healthy enough to find peace in chaos. And in motherhood, chaos is part of the routine.” The tears flowed freely as I read her article, one of the finest pieces on postpartum anxiety I’ve ever found. She knows me, I thought. I’m not alone. But the revelation failed to bring… Read more »

Dear Daughters, Your dad caught me by the elbow as I poured my second cup of coffee the other day. “We need to talk,” he said and led me to the kitchen table, patchy rays of sunlight flickering in through the open blinds. Your carefree giggles floated from your bedroom as we sat and wrapped hands around warm mugs, your innocent banter a stark contrast to the weighty dialogue I knew was coming. It was time for a tune-up. At… Read more »

Dear Laynie, Your birth was painless. After treading the ravaging waters of pitocin induced labor for as long as my feeble body could bear, I mumbled out a request for an epidural and barely managed to stay afloat until the needle pierced the tender flesh in my back. The relief was instantaneous. I gulped in great lungfuls of air and rested comfortably for the first time in months. And when I failed to push you out of my tightly cramped… Read more »

To my Sweet Peas, The new year is well underway, and along with it, the burning pressure to DO ALL THE THINGS. So far this year I’ve added natural soy wax, clean-burning soy candle wicks, grass-fed beef gelatin, mini silicone molds, a light-up globe, an industrial-sized butcher paper roll, floating bookshelves, a reading teepee, and reusable snack bags (bye-bye, toxic plastic baggies) to my Amazon wishlist. Somebody stop me. I am goal-driven by nature, and I LOVE the kick in… Read more »

LaynieCakes, I closely studied the two women checking out in front of me, my eyes veiled and afforded maximum stalking capabilities by the ever-present ball cap resting atop my head. They looked to be in their late fifties to early sixties, old enough to have garnered wisdom and experience and wrinkles, young enough to still look trendy and attractive. Their skin was deeply tanned, their nails were meticulously polished, and the older of the two, standing directly in front of… Read more »

Little Ladies, So I’ve been reading this book. There was a chunk of time last summer when I stumbled across it constantly, when its virtues were proclaimed from every mountaintop within my humble little circle. So when I found it on a bargain table around Christmastime I snatched it up and whispered, “Merry Christmas to me!” I cracked its cover immediately, feasting on the wordy, poetic prose (my favorite), but after a few days it began gathering dust on my… Read more »

May 27th, 2016 Dear Daughters, We woke up groggily this morning to the sound of rain pattering our windows and a slight draft slipping beneath our doors, penetrating our cozy little nest of warmth and solitude and prompting us to double check our calendars. Summer may be just around the corner, but it seemed this bleak and dreary morning had somehow slipped away from some future November and crept back in time to rap on our windows and tease our… Read more »

Dear Daughters, Poor Crosbie. We had a heck of a morning together, one full of fits and tears and the most amazing toddler tantrums. The kind where she throws herself backwards in slow motion and then turns to stare at me after gracefully lowering her head to the ground, the kind that tells me she really wants to make a statement, but she knows she’ll hurt herself if she goes all out. The kind that shows me she fully grasps… Read more »

Have you ever noticed how much our identity is tied to numbers? Our age, our birthday, our address, our social security number, our phone number, etc. are all basic tenets of information that we hand out robotically when asked for them. They serve to distinguish us from our peers, and in just a few moments’ time, we can recite a short list of numbers and be immediately identified and categorized. But what about the not-so-basic tidbits?  When we dig deeper,… Read more »

  “The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt. In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, ‘If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have… Read more »